Lanny's Blog

Archive for the month “February, 2012”

Dear Scrubs, I Miss You

The cast of Scrubs.

Photo via Google Images

Dear Scrubs,

It’s been almost two years now since you went off the air. With each passing day, I find that I am missing you more and more. My heart feels empty without you.

I believe that every person has a show that they can connect with emotionally. It becomes a part of their lives. And for me, you were that show, Scrubs.

Maybe I’m just bitter. Maybe it’s the way that you left me. Sure, you came back for a while with Scrubs: Med School, but it just wasn’t the same. There was nothing there to hold my attention. The story and characters that unraveled over 9 years just weren’t there anymore. There was no emotion. No excitement. Something changed. We grew apart. Maybe it was you, or maybe it was me.

What really, really upset me was the fact that you let J.D. end up with Elliot. She was freaking nuts, and J.D. was too good for her. But I’m trying not to focus on the negative. I’m trying to remember the good times.

At times, I find myself missing the chemistry between Turk and J.D. Their bromance was both beautiful and something I only thought existed in fairy tales. It pranced around like the unicorn on J.D.’s diary that protected his hopes and dreams. It was glorious.

Sure, I’ve tried to fill the hole in my heart with other bromances like Shawn and Gus from Psych, but I know that it will never be the same…

I’ll miss the wisdom that Dr. Cox always shared. From his arrogant attitude to the clever rants that always seem so well-rehearsed.

He was like the bad guy, but always came through in the end. He always saved the day. I miss his yelling, the way he would throw expensive medical equipment, and of course his complete and utter hatred for Hugh Jackman.

I miss Dr. Kelso’s one-liners that were always brilliant. I’ll also never forget his irrational love of muffins. Who has two thumbs and misses everything about Bob Kelso? This guy.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you left me too soon, Scrubs. I wasn’t ready to let go. Now look at me! I’m stuck watching your re-runs on Comedy Central wishing that every moment was happening in the present. That’s no way to live.

And don’t give me the excuse that you can’t come back. Turk is on some show, wasting his talent on the TV Land audience. Elliot did a few Lifetime movies and has appeared on other shows. And J.D…what happened, man? Where are you? I love you.

In my head, I pretend that somehow…someday…you’ll come back…

I knew it couldn’t last forever, Scrubs, but I just hoped you would have stayed around longer. I just feel like…I can’t do this all on my own. No, I know…I’m no Superman.

4 Things that Make My Bad Days Worse

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has bad days. You know, those days where nothing seems to go your way and just when you think things can’t get any worse…well things get worse.

Daredevil movie poster
“Well, at least it can’t get any worse.”
Elektra movie poster
“I stand corrected.”

Here are 4 things that will almost always make my bad days even worse:

4. Traffic– I can’t remember how many times traffic has made my day just a little bit crappier. Some mornings, I wake up late and have to rush to get ready. By the time I’m out the door, I think to myself, “Okay, I’m leaving a little bit late, but if I drive fast, I’ll make it to work on time. No sweat.” And then it happens. Traffic.

traffic jam
Can you guess which car is mine?

What’s even worse than a traffic jam is getting behind a slow driver. It’s like some old guy, who has all the time in the world, decides to go out for a Sunday poke along on a Monday morning. He’s out and about enjoying the scenery. However, if he looked into his rear view mirror, he would see me throwing a fit and losing my mind. But hey, he has every right to be on the road just like everyone else. So I eventually calm down and accept the fact that I will be late. No big deal. I make it to work and then…

3. I spill something– When I spill a beverage I get that same panicky feeling you get when you lean back too far in a chair. Your muscles tense up, and you pray that you can use The Force to keep the liquid from spilling. (Or am I the only one who does that?) And in that moment, where you know there is no return, you can only watch in slow motion as that liquid slowly begins to fall.

water spilling
Nooooooo!!!

This usually happens right when I sit down at my desk. Nothing is better than having to run to get paper towels while the liquid is literally touching everything that is important. It’s like the spill has an agenda. First it soaks my bag, then all my papers, and then, as it slowly crawls for my computer to complete its evil plan, I make it back with a handful of towels. Close call.

So I calm down. Things are still okay. All my papers can be printed off again, so it’s no big deal. The rest of the day goes smoothly. I make it to end of the day and then…

2. The computer freezes– Are you kidding me? This has happened on many occasions. Right when I’m about to finish my work for the day and head out a few minutes early, my computer freezes. Not only does it freeze, but I have to restart it and open all of the documents again.

So finally, after hitting control, alt, delete about 50 times and threatening violence, my computer finally let’s me finish my work. Of course, I finish about 30 minutes later and I know I will have to fight traffic to get home. That’s okay. I remain calm.

Finally, after going and stopping, going and stopping, I finally make it home. I can kick back, relax and let go of the stress from the day.

a guy in a robe
Relaxing…in style.

I take a seat in my recliner. I pick up the remote and then…

1. The batteries are dead– That’s it! That’s the last straw! After a crappy day, there is no way I’m getting up to change the channels. I live in America!¬† No, it’s just asking way too much! I’m done. Screw this, I’m going to bed!

What little things make your bad days worse? Tell me about them in the comments section or on the my Facebook page.

True Story, Bro #1

I’ve decided to try something new and I’ve come up with a new category for my blog. This is called, True Story, Bro. Basically, I’m going to tell you a crazy story that has happened to me and you get to read it and say, “Wow, that was great” or “Wow, that was a waste of time.” Either way, I’m okay with it.

So today I’m going to tell you a story about when my Ipod was stolen out of my car. So curl up in a warm blanket, grab a cup of hot chocolate and let my writing soothe you as I reminisce and tell you a story.

man sleeping
Don’t you dare fall asleep!

So one night, my brother and I decided to go see a movie. If I recall correctly, we went to go see Battle: Los Angeles. I called a friend of mine to come join us and we agreed to meet at the theatre.

My brother and I arrived early, because we wanted to see the previews. We get our tickets, picked our seats and then my friend showed up right before the movie started. He walked up to my seat and looked at me with a very grave and serious expression.

“Did you drive your car here?” he asked.

“Yeah I drove because my horse and carriage are in the shop,” I replied.

“I think I just saw two kids sitting in your car.”

“Are you serious? Let’s go check it out.”

Now when he told me that my car had been broken into, I really didn’t believe it. I just assumed there was a car in the parking lot that looked just like mine and this was all a misunderstanding.

But sure enough, as soon as I got to my car, there were two thugs hanging around it. I walked up to my car, and to my surprise, the doors were unlocked and the seats had been moved!

angry face
No one moves my driver’s seat!

I got in my car and saw that my Ipod had been stolen. Wait, let me clarify. In hindsight, I was actually robbed by two nice criminals because they had the decency to steal my Ipod and leave the case. Wasn’t that sweet of them?

I got out and called the police, and my friend went to confront the two guys. He told them they could give back the Ipod or we would call the cops. So the two guys walked off.

I called the cops and told them what had happened. Here’s how the conversation went.

“Yeah someone broke into my car and I need a cop to come arrest the guys,” I said.

“What’s the physical address of where you’re at?”

“I’m at the movie theatre, it’s the only one in the area.” (I was actually more specific, but for your sake I’ll leave some details out.)

“What’s the address?”

“The guys are getting away! I don’t have time to find out the address. This theatre is a pretty popular place, can’t you find it or look it up yourself?” I asked.

“We need the address…”

So I ran into the theatre, cut through the line and asked for the address. No one working there knew it. They had to find a brochure with the address and handed it to me.

While this was going on, my friend was walking behind the guys to keep up with them so we could tell the police where they were headed.

I ran back outside and the dispatcher asked me if I could give a description of the guys. I told her I was following them, but had to run into the theatre. She asked why I wasn’t following them now. I then told her that I was trying to follow them, but I got distracted trying to find out the physical address.

Finally, I caught up to my friend and we walked at a safe distance behind the two guys. They turned a corner at a Home Depot where there were sheds and buildings. I was afraid that they may be hiding in one of them and decided to wait for the cops, because I didn’t want to get stabbed or shot over an Ipod.

a gun
I don’t care how many acoustic love ballads were on that Ipod, I wasn’t willing to take a bullet for them.

So we waited and waited.

Finally, a cop showed up and got out of the car.

“What are you boys doing out here tonight? Please take your hands out of your pockets so I can see them,” he said sternly.

“I’m the one that called you…” I replied.

So after we cleared up that my friend and I weren’t the criminals, the cop rode around the parking lot to look for the guys. They were long gone by then.

A few minutes later, another cop showed up. He asked us the same questions. He then asked my friend, and this is a direct quote, why “he didn’t just beat the sh*t out of them.” I was confused at that point.

I looked at the officer and said, “What would you have done if you saw a guy beating up two other guys in a parking lot at night? Chances you would have arrested my friend and given my Ipod back to the guys whole stole it.”

(That’s not actually what I said, but it’s what I was thinking.)

Long story short, the only people who ended up in the back of a cop car that night was my friend and I. The cops gave me a ride back to my car and nothing was done about my stolen Ipod.

Three days later, my brother and I went back to the same theatre to see Battle: Los Angeles. By the end of the film, I realized that those criminals did me a favor, and tried to keep me from seeing that crappy movie. So for that, I say “thank you.”

True story, bro!

Have you ever experienced something like this? If so, tell me about it in the comments or on my Facebook page.

3 Hairstyles I’ll Never Like

Let me start off by saying that I have no room to give advice or criticism when it comes to fashion or style. If you tell me to dress up, that usually means I’ll throw on my jeans without holes and perhaps a polo.

Batman shirt
But underneath that polo, you better believe I’m rocking a superhero shirt.

Also, I don’t have a lot of room to poke fun at anyone else’s hair. I go long periods without¬† cutting mine, and I pretty much just let it do whatever it wants. So I have good days and bad days. Mostly bad days.

So even though I’m completely unqualified when it comes to these things, I must say that there are 3 hairstyles that I’ll never like.

3. Mohawks– I’m not saying that I hate all mohawks, just the ones that are ridiculously long and the ones that are brightly colored.

a purple mohawk
Thanks for the great example. I’m sure his parents are so proud.

Mohawks are commonly associated with the punk rock culture. Here’s a little fact for you; mohawks are actually pretty high maintenance. Who would have thunk it?

Maintenance includes shaving and trimming the sides of the head. Also, in order to get your hair to stand at attention, like in the picture, it requires blow drying, brushing and tons of product to make it stay in place.

I don’t have a problem with short mohawks or fauxhawks, but the really eye-catching, brightly colored spikes just bother me. I don’t care if you’re guy or a girl, no one looks cool with a mohawk.

Mr. T

Mr. T wears shiny jewelry in order to distract you from his ridiculous haircut.

2. Short Bangs– This hairstyle applies more to the ladies than it does to men. Personally, I think girls look good with long hair or short hair, but not something that is in-between.

Katy Perry
This haircut might be Katy Perry’s second biggest mistake. The first, of course, is Russell Brand.

I guess I understand the burden that women face. They want long hair, but don’t want their hair in their eyes. And…okay, honestly I can’t really think of an excuse for something like this.

I don’t have a problem with bangs, it’s that I just don’t like them short when a girl’s hair is long. It just looks kind of goofy to me.

I guess what I’m trying to say it that women should choose one or the other. Go short or leave it all long. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, if Katy Perry cut her hair differently, I’d most likely still go after her even after she had her hands all over that English moron.

Russell Brand
At least Russell doesn’t go for the short bang look. He just looks for things to bang. Zing!

1. Mullets– I think it’s safe to say that mullets are universally frowned upon. No one, and I mean no one can pull off a mullet. It’s just impossible.

Billy Ray Cyrus
It must be weird to be more famous for your mullet than for your music.

This hairstyle began appearing in the 60s and 70s and grew in popularity until the mid 90s. Some really famous people even sported this disaster. Stars such as David Bowie, Paul McCartney and David Cassidy all had mullets at one point in their careers. And every now and then, when you least expect it, you’ll find someone who sports a mullet. It’s like finding a four-leaf clover or catching a leprechaun. Or maybe it’s more like catching an STD? I’m not sure.

One of the famous phrases that explains this hairstyle is “business in the front and party in the back.”¬† I’ve come up with a few phrases of my own that might work too:

“Bad idea in the front, it get worse in the back.”

“I love my cousin in the front, inbreeding in the back.”

“Nascar in the front, spousal abuse in the back.”

Those are fun. If you come up with a fun mullet expression like these, share them in the comments.

Honestly, what it really boils down to, is that I’m jealous because I can’t pull off a glorious hairstyle like the mullet. One of these days, maybe I can pull it off, but for now I can only look at it in envy.

What haircuts do you not like? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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