Lanny's Blog

Archive for the month “October, 2012”

3 “Scary” Movies To Avoid On Halloween

It’s Halloween, which means it’s time for candy, girls wearing tight and provocative clothing and of course scary movies. Halloween is the best time to hang out with some friends and watch some frightening films that will leave you sleeping with the lights on. However, there are 3 films I want to share with you that you should probably keep off of your list. Why? Because they suck.

candy corn

Yes, just like candy corn.

3. A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)- In the year 2010, someone who worked in Hollywood thought it would be a great idea to reboot the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Then, he somehow convinced other people that it would be a good idea. And the saddest part is that someone convinced Jackie Earle Haley to take over the role as Freddy Krueger.

money

“Will you please be in our movie, Mr. Haley?” asked Ben Franklin and his brothers.

Honestly, this movie was so bad that I don’t really even remember the plot. I just remember that Freddy Krueger’s face looked like a badly burnt pizza. I don’t recall even being the least bit scared. The only nightmare I had was the awful truth that no matter what, I would never get that hour and a half of my life back.

Unfortunately though, this is not the worst Freddy Krueger movie I have ever seen. For there is another…

2. Freddy Vs. Jason- When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought it was a joke. Who in their right mind would combine two horror villains together and expect it to be good? Surely no one else in the movie world would even think to create such a craptastic combination of stupidity.

Aliens Versus Predator movie poster

I stand corrected.

So basically the plot of the movie is for Jason and Freddy to face each other while also killing other people. And honestly, that may not be the plot, but I’m not doing a ton of research for this post for fear I’ll lose IQ points from reading all these plot summaries. So let’s just go with it.

I do however, remember how it ends. And it ends just like every bad horror movie sequel. You think the antagonist is dead, and then at the very end, they show you a small glimpse that they aren’t dead. And then everyone puts their face in their palm and is ashamed that they sat through such movie to begin with.

But wait…there is another movie that is worse. Worse? It can’t be.

Oh, but it can. All you have to do is figure out a way to add a new spin to a horrible sequel. What could it be? What it could be? I got it! It should all take place…in outer space!

1. Jason X- In my opinion, this is the worst sequel and worst idea that anyone has ever had. After years and years of Friday the 13th sequels, someone wanted to mix things up. You know, add some new flavor to the series. Well they accomplished the task. They added a new flavor, and that flavor was crap.

I can’t tell you how Jason ends up on a spaceship in the future, but it’s got something to do with him being frozen. Anyway, somehow he thaws out and reeks havoc on the spaceship for about 2 hours. All the while, you’re sitting and wondering why on earth this film was made.

In the end, Jason gets thrown off the space craft and plummets back into the earth’s atmosphere. And out of all the places he can land, he lands right back at Crystal Lake, where undoubtedly, they can continue on this ridiculous path of Jason movies.

Lucky for us, there was never a sequel to Jason X. Instead, we just got a reboot produced by Michael Bay.

Friday the 13th movie poster

Which makes it all better, right?

So there you have it. These are 3 of the worst “scary” movies that I have ever seen. I ask that you do avoid them, unless you just enjoy torturing yourself.

What are some of the worst horror movies you have seen? Tell me about them in the comments section.

Happy Halloween!

Paranormal Activity 4- Scary Or Stupid?

It seems like yesterday when I first walked into the theatre to see the original Paranormal Activity. I had to go to a theatre in Atlanta to see it, because none of the ones close to me were showing it. I still remember having to sleep with the lights on for a few nights because of the psychological terror that it put me through.

a scared man

Yeah I was scared. And yeah, my blanket has flowers on it.

Should the Paranormal movies have stopped after the first one? Probably. I find that sequels are a tricky thing. I believe you should always leave your audience wanting more, and the first movie did that. However, with each sequel, I find myself a little less frightened and a little more immune to what these movies have to offer.

I liked the first one for its originality, and the concept seemed like a cool idea. Yeah, the “found footage” genre has been run into the ground ever since the Blair Witch Project, but Paranormal stood out to me.

With the fourth film, I read a few reviews that said the movie would only be enjoyed by fans of the series. If you didn’t like the others, you most likely weren’t going to like this one.

In my opinion, I thought this movie was good if you’re into scary movies. I’m not a huge fan of the genre, but I do enjoy the occasional scare.

In all honesty, I was hoping this was going to be the last of the series. I wanted them to wrap it up, answer all the questions and just let it be over. Unfortunately, the movie raised more questions and left you with an ending where you have no idea what to think. Most likely though, there will be a sequel headed your way next year.

Paranormal Activity has become the new Saw series. A sequel comes out every Halloween, the plot gets more complicated, and eventually most fans are going to jump ship before the conclusion. I’m actually one of those people who sat through every Saw movie because I wanted to know how it ended. I loved the plot twists and I also needed to know that my theories were correct. And yes, at the end of final movie, I was correct. And no, no one cared.

What I’m trying to say it that Paranormal will eventually run its course. I personally have enjoyed all four films, but I find that with each sequel, I’m starting to lose interest.

So is it scary or stupid? For now, it’s still scary but it’s approaching the line of stupidity rather quickly. But knowing me, I’ll still go to see the sequels because I have invested too much time and I need to know how it all ends. If it ever ends.

a skeleton watching tv

Paranormal Activity 105.

I think most people will get some good screams out of this film. It’s a fun and creepy ride at least. However, if you’re looking for some real terror, you should check out Tyler Perry’s acting in Alex Cross.

What did you think of the movie? Tell me your thoughts in the comments section.

Music Video of the Week- The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger

I’m a really big fan of The Beatles. But then again, who isn’t? I’m also a fan of John Lennon’s solo endeavors. His songs like Imagine, Instant Karma, Nobody Told Me and Stand By Me are just a few of my favorites.

Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger

Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger

So when I heard that John’s son was in a band, I decided to check it out. After listening to a few songs, I’m pretty much convinced that Sean Lennon inherited his father’s gift for making music. Both of their voices are very similar, but they each have their own unique style.

This week’s video comes from Sean’s band called, The Ghost of a Saber Tooth Tiger. I chose the video because I really enjoy the music this band produces. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Lennon has a beautiful woman with an angelic voice making music with him. The woman’s name is Charlotte Kemp Muhl and she is extremely talented as well.

This song is called, Lavender Road and is off of their Acoustic Sessions album. Enjoy!

Music Video Of The Week- Butch Walker And The Black Widows

This week’s video comes from an artist from good ole Georgia. I was first introduced to Butch Walker‘s music back in the 90s when he was in the band, Marvelous 3. Their hit song, Freak of the Week, was glorious and the music video was even better.

Butch Walker

Butch Walker

Recently, my brother started listening to Walker’s newer stuff called Butch Walker and the Black Widows and shared with me a music video so awesome that words cannot fully describe it. If you’re a fan of the movie, Dazed and Confused, then you are sure to fall in love with this video.

I won’t give away the surprise, but let’s just say there is a special celebrity in the video that makes it amazing. (Alright, alright, alright.)

This week’s video comes from one of my new favorite artists, even though he is 42 and has been around forever, Butch Walker. This song is called Synthesizers and is pure genius. Enjoy!

Streaking! At A Youth Soccer Game?

Streakers are probably the only reason to ever watch soccer. Sure, I could waste 3 hours of my life watching grown men kick a ball back a forth only to end the game at 0-0, but I’ve got plenty of other ways to waste my time.

a field of grass

For example, I could watch this grass grow and be just as equally entertained.

However, I stumbled upon this great story that actually made soccer appealing. And if there is one thing I hate more than watching soccer, it’s reading about soccer.

What makes this story unique is where it took place and the fact the streaker was a woman. Don’t get me wrong, I think women can streak just as good as men, but the fact that it took place at a youth soccer match is baffling.

A woman ran out onto the field, topless, with her boobs painted blue and white. She was quickly taken down by a security guard and escorted off the field. The guy who caught it on video alleges that the woman was a little intoxicated.

First of all, why didn’t anything like this happen when I played soccer? I played goalie and the only exciting thing that ever happened was when a ball came at me once in a blue moon or if my shoe came untied. Other than that, I literally just sat down on the grass and waited for basketball season.

a kid playing goalie

Oh…the excitement.

Secondly, this woman shouldn’t have been punished. She was just trying to make soccer exciting, and let’s face it, that’s pretty hard to do. I’m willing to bet that’s the only time in history that people will talk about a youth soccer game after it’s over.

Thirdly, what if this woman was someone’s mother? Holy cow! How embarrassing would that be? I’ve heard of parents getting out of hand at their kid’s sporting events, but this is ridiculous!

But then again, maybe she was just trying to show that she had team spirit. Yeah, there are better ways of showing your spirit like making a poster or a t-shirt, but running around topless during the game might be over the top. I will give her bonus points for thinking outside the box though.

Tell me what you think about this after you read the full story.

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