Lanny's Blog

Archive for the month “November, 2011”

Food, Family and Call of Duty

Thanksgiving is one of those great holidays where we celebrate what we are thankful for, eat way too much food, and spend time with the family. It’s one of my favorite holidays because it’s like a warm-up before Christmas. I get a chance to stretch out my stomach, that way I can really pack in the fattening food when Santa comes around.

Santa Claus

He might be a bad role model when it comes to obesity.

This Thanksgiving was actually pretty fun. I recently made one of the best investments in my life. During the week, I went out and purchased Xbox Live and the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare. I’m only about 7 or 8 years late to the game, but better late than never. This game was so frustrating at first. I literally couldn’t shoot anyone. I was just a sitting duck. And all the while, I had to listen to all these smart-mouth gamers tell me how badly I sucked. It was an eye-opening experience…

angry gamer

"I will eat your unborn children!" Yeah it got graphic.

However, after a few days of rigorous practice and patience, I finally started getting the hang of it. It’s actually pretty addicting once you develop some strategy, level up, and Google “how to get decent at Call of Duty.”

After a morning of Call of Duty, I went to see some family, ate way too much, came home to play video games, ate too much again, played more video games and now I can’t help but feel lethargic and disappointed with my lack of self-control.

slices of pumpkin pie

One piece is just never enough.

So that, in a nutshell, was my Thanksgiving. It can be summed up in 3 words. Food, family and Call of Duty. What did you do for Thanksgiving? Tell me about it in the comments section!

Why Being a Real Life Superhero is a Bad Idea

Everyone has dreamed about being a superhero. It’s a normal phase that all kids go through. When I was a kid, everyone wanted to be Batman, Superman or Spider-Man.

aquaman

And then there was that weird kid who wanted to be Aqua Man. Nice dolphin, loser.

But when you really sit and think about it, being a superhero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, there are some pretty crappy consequences to fighting crime and saving people all the time. In reality, it’s actually a good thing that we grow out of that superhero phase. Here are a few reasons why being a real life superhero is a bad idea:

1. You have to face a life altering tragedy– Think about it; all the really cool superheroes had to go through some life altering, horrible tragedy that they have to live with for the rest of their lives. For instance, Bruce Wayne’s parents got shot in front of him, Peter Parker’s uncle got shot, and Superman’s planet got destroyed, killing his family and all of his friends.

james van der beek crying

I know James Van Der Beek, it makes me sad too.

So if you have to face some huge tragedy to be a superhero, you might want to reconsider. That stuff will haunt you the rest of your life, especially if it was your fault. (Peter Parker)

2. Low Life Expectancy– If you became a superhero in real life, let’s face it, you would most likely be killed at an early age. If you’re getting shot at and dealing with crazy criminals on a regular basis, eventually you are going to slip up. Even in the comics, they have killed off heroes. Captain America got assassinated and Robin got killed by the Joker.

Robin

Let’s be honest. No one misses Robin.

In the comics, they can resurrect characters or make up plots that take place in different dimensions. In the real world, that’s it. You’re dead. There’s no clever way of coming back from it. So if you have plans to see your grandchildren grow up, you might want to pick a better profession. Speaking of looking out for you family…

3. You’ll be poor– Superheroes apparently don’t make a lot of money. Every superhero has to work a regular job in order to pay the bills, with the exception of Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark. So if you work all day and then fight crime all night, you’re going to be sleepy. And don’t you dare think about falling asleep at work, because the rent is due and you can’t lose this job. Then again, you can’t fall asleep when trying to save someone’s life because they will end up dead. There’s so much pressure!

The only thing you could do, if you couldn’t hold down a job, is to become a criminal and use your powers to rob banks. But then you go against your principles and let down all the little children that look up to you and want to become just like you.

kid crying

Congratulations! You just screwed this kid up for life.

So there you have it. Being a superhero isn’t all it’s cut out to be. In real life, superheroes would just be miserable most of the time.

spider-man kissing

Spoiler Alert: You probably wouldn’t get the hot babe either. She likes guys with jobs and money.

Well, now that I’ve depressed myself with this post, let’s get some positivity going on. Tell me a few reasons why it would be great to be a superhero or tell me which superhero you always wanted to be and why. And don’t you dare say Aqua Man! Let me know your opinions in the comments section!

Company Makes Beer for Dogs

This might be one of the oddest news stories that I have ever read. A company has found a way to make a beer for dogs. If you think about it though, dogs don’t really need a beer in order to show alcoholic-like behavior. They already lay around, chase their own tails and they can’t hold down a job.

dog using a computer

Keep searching Craigslist for that dream job.

The beer is called, Bowser Beer and it’s made in Phoenix. Here’s the kicker: it has no hops, no carbonation, and no alcohol. So what’s in the bottle? It’s basically sweet malt barley and other ingredients that are safe for dogs.

So my question is, why is it necessary to make a beer for dogs? Well, a woman named Jenny Brown made pretzel snacks for dogs for a holiday party.

dogs at a party

I'm assuming this is what the party looked like.

Then she had an epiphany. An idea so grand and so genius, that she literally had a light bulb over head. She asked herself one…simple…question. “What goes well with pretzels?” And the only logical answer was….beer. Then she created a beef and malt flavored beverage and tested it on several dogs. And guess what? They freaking loved it! She later made a beer with chicken flavor and called it “Cock-a-Doodle Brew.” Brilliant.

Bowser Brew can now be found in 40 states. However, some customers were disappointed when they realized that there dog wouldn’t actually get intoxicated. Honestly, I’d be a little disappointed too if my dog didn’t get wasted from something called Bowser Beer.

However, it’s important to note, that this beer can act as a gateway drug. First it starts out all innocent, and next thing you know you’ve got a good-for-nothing dog who just sits around, watches TV, beats your cat and is addicted to the hard stuff.

two drunk dogs

This is what addiction looks like. Cute and cuddly.

You can find the full story here. Tell me your thoughts about this bizarre story in the comments section.

2 Things I Wish I Had Learned More About in School

Once you start getting into the real world, you begin to experience things and realize that you don’t have a freaking clue what’s going on. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you get done with college. I wish, during my 18 years of education, that I would have learned more about the real world and less about math and literature.

william shakespeare

If this guy wrote in American, maybe I'd be more inclined to read his work. Doubtful.

Here are 2 things I wish I had learned more about  in school:

1. Money/Taxes/ Big Purchases– I really wish that schools would make a real world class that was mandatory for all students. To be completely honest, I know nothing about taxes except from what I learned from the board game, Monopoly.

monopoly guy

Even he knows I'm screwed.

I just think it would be practical to learn about taxes, how to save money, and the ins and outs of making huge purchases such as a car or house. Teach me what to look for and how to know if  I’m getting a good deal or not. When I look around at the economy and I see so many people losing their belongings, it really makes me wonder if that could happen to me in the future. That’s a really scary thought.

Sure, I took a Banking and Finance class, but I didn’t really get much out of it. It was also an elective class, so it was an easy A and wasn’t required. I was hoping to learn how to balance a checkbook, fill out my tax forms, or learn about credit. Instead, all we did was read a book and never applied it to the real world. So now when people talk about 401K’s or income tax, I have no idea what’s really being talked about. But as an adult, I just pretend and nod like I have a clue and then Google all the terms I didn’t understand.

wikipedia logo

One of the best "teachers" you will ever have.

2. Politics and Government– I took a few history classes in my day, but I still don’t know a lot about our government and how it works. For instance, I don’t recall anyone ever explaining to me the differences between Republicans and Democrats. In fact, the only time I learned about the differences was when I was at family gatherings and I would listen to arguments. But I really didn’t understand most of it, and I left feeling confused and scratching my head.

Bush

Just like this.

There should be a class that explains politics and government in a way young people can understand.We should learn about what each side is all about. Instead of memorizing the presidents, I wish we had focused more on current issues, that way when I was old enough to vote, I’d sort of have a clue what was going on. Terms like foreign policy,  national debt, The United Nations, and the Federal Reserve were things I learned about on my own.

I think it’s important to learn about historical events, but I would have also like to have been informed about events that are going on in the present. Young people need to learn about the voting process, what each presidential candidate stands for, and how the whole political system works. Instead of teaching  for the billionth time who the Pilgrims were, mix it up and talk about how our country ended up in a recession. That way the future generation can avoid the same mistakes.

Who knows? Maybe this information was covered in depth during school, but I just didn’t pay attention. That is very likely.

girl with twins

I'm just glad I payed attention in Sex-Ed. Yikes.

What are some other life lessons that you wish you had learned more about in school? Tell me about them in the comments section!

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