Lanny's Blog

Archive for the month “August, 2011”

Abercrombie Vs. Jersey Shore

Abercrombie and Fitch is offering money to Mike “The Situation” and other cast members if they stop wearing Abercrombie clothing. The company is concerned that the Jersey Shore cast members, specifically “The Situation,” will cause “significant damage to their image.”

Wait a minute. Isn’t Abercrombie known for using half naked models to sell their clothing? If you walk into any of there stores, all you see are half naked people on the posters. They also hire models to stand at the entrances shirtless. So what gives Abercrombie? Did you all of a sudden develop morals? Is it possible that “The Situation” is such a horrible role model that even Abercrombie won’t have anything to do with him?

I thought it was funny when Abercrombie stated that, “We have an image to protect.”

This is the cleanest “image” I could find.

So if Abercrombie uses preppy half naked guys to sell clothes, why wouldn’t they be cool with the Jersey Shore kids? I mean they fit the model perfectly. All you have to do is tape their mouths shut and not give them alcohol.

Check out the full article here.

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Vampire Attack in Texas

This guy named Lyle Monroe Bensley broke into a woman’s house in Texas. The only item of clothing he was wearing was his boxer shorts. Once he entered the woman’s bedroom he began to make hissing and growling noises…yeah let that sink in for a second. He then attacked the woman by biting and hitting her. Long story short, she escaped, called the police and the police later arrested the guy. Here’s where it gets crazy.

The guy told the police that he was a vampire…

Even real vampires are in disbelief.

 

And then he went on to say that he needed to feed. The police found him in a parking lot outside of the woman’s apartment and caught him after a “brief pursuit.” I’m sorry but if you were a real vampire, why didn’t you just turn into a bat and fly away?

It’s times like this that I worry about the human race. Check out the story for yourself and tell me your reaction to it.

Hands

Hands of skin, hands of bone.

Holds a child and throws the stone.

Hands so gentle, hands of hate.

A friendly fawn, a deadly snake.

Our hands create, our hands destroy,

Some with anger, some with joy.

Wash our hands to clean our sins,

Then put them in the dirt again.

Open palms, constricted fists.

Wave goodbye to those we miss.

Hands extended, or keep them close,

Hurt the ones we love the most.

One day I will take these hands,

Give them to a better man.

He will one day take a stand.

And make better use of these hands.

The Great Word Wars

Your words are so blunt they should have bullets and triggers,

Use them with threats to make you feel bigger.

Attach a bayonet so your attack’s subtle.

Breaking through skin and stirring up trouble.

If we are attacking with words, then it’s Word War I.

Grab your wit and your tongue, your blade and your gun.

Meet me in the field just a quarter past two,

Let’s see how much damage our words really do.

We retreat and hide, take safety in bunkers.

Using words unclean, bringing shame to our mothers.

Throwing grenades of wit, we become savage,

Anyone else that gets hurt is collateral damage.

Now I’m storming the beach of your self-esteem,

Tearing you down with your fragile regime.

My victor’s flag is on the top of your hill,

To celebrate my metaphoric, and symbolic kill.

Now that I’ve overthrown you, with my wit and words,

I wait for another war to occur.

And when the enemy strikes with words that you’d use,

We will take heart and engage in Word War II.

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