Lanny's Blog

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4 Things that Make My Bad Days Worse

I think it’s safe to say that everyone has bad days. You know, those days where nothing seems to go your way and just when you think things can’t get any worse…well things get worse.

Daredevil movie poster
“Well, at least it can’t get any worse.”
Elektra movie poster
“I stand corrected.”

Here are 4 things that will almost always make my bad days even worse:

4. Traffic– I can’t remember how many times traffic has made my day just a little bit crappier. Some mornings, I wake up late and have to rush to get ready. By the time I’m out the door, I think to myself, “Okay, I’m leaving a little bit late, but if I drive fast, I’ll make it to work on time. No sweat.” And then it happens. Traffic.

traffic jam
Can you guess which car is mine?

What’s even worse than a traffic jam is getting behind a slow driver. It’s like some old guy, who has all the time in the world, decides to go out for a Sunday poke along on a Monday morning. He’s out and about enjoying the scenery. However, if he looked into his rear view mirror, he would see me throwing a fit and losing my mind. But hey, he has every right to be on the road just like everyone else. So I eventually calm down and accept the fact that I will be late. No big deal. I make it to work and then…

3. I spill something– When I spill a beverage I get that same panicky feeling you get when you lean back too far in a chair. Your muscles tense up, and you pray that you can use The Force to keep the liquid from spilling. (Or am I the only one who does that?) And in that moment, where you know there is no return, you can only watch in slow motion as that liquid slowly begins to fall.

water spilling

This usually happens right when I sit down at my desk. Nothing is better than having to run to get paper towels while the liquid is literally touching everything that is important. It’s like the spill has an agenda. First it soaks my bag, then all my papers, and then, as it slowly crawls for my computer to complete its evil plan, I make it back with a handful of towels. Close call.

So I calm down. Things are still okay. All my papers can be printed off again, so it’s no big deal. The rest of the day goes smoothly. I make it to end of the day and then…

2. The computer freezes– Are you kidding me? This has happened on many occasions. Right when I’m about to finish my work for the day and head out a few minutes early, my computer freezes. Not only does it freeze, but I have to restart it and open all of the documents again.

So finally, after hitting control, alt, delete about 50 times and threatening violence, my computer finally let’s me finish my work. Of course, I finish about 30 minutes later and I know I will have to fight traffic to get home. That’s okay. I remain calm.

Finally, after going and stopping, going and stopping, I finally make it home. I can kick back, relax and let go of the stress from the day.

a guy in a robe
Relaxing…in style.

I take a seat in my recliner. I pick up the remote and then…

1. The batteries are dead– That’s it! That’s the last straw! After a crappy day, there is no way I’m getting up to change the channels. I live in America!  No, it’s just asking way too much! I’m done. Screw this, I’m going to bed!

What little things make your bad days worse? Tell me about them in the comments section or on the my Facebook page.


True Story, Bro #1

I’ve decided to try something new and I’ve come up with a new category for my blog. This is called, True Story, Bro. Basically, I’m going to tell you a crazy story that has happened to me and you get to read it and say, “Wow, that was great” or “Wow, that was a waste of time.” Either way, I’m okay with it.

So today I’m going to tell you a story about when my Ipod was stolen out of my car. So curl up in a warm blanket, grab a cup of hot chocolate and let my writing soothe you as I reminisce and tell you a story.

man sleeping
Don’t you dare fall asleep!

So one night, my brother and I decided to go see a movie. If I recall correctly, we went to go see Battle: Los Angeles. I called a friend of mine to come join us and we agreed to meet at the theatre.

My brother and I arrived early, because we wanted to see the previews. We get our tickets, picked our seats and then my friend showed up right before the movie started. He walked up to my seat and looked at me with a very grave and serious expression.

“Did you drive your car here?” he asked.

“Yeah I drove because my horse and carriage are in the shop,” I replied.

“I think I just saw two kids sitting in your car.”

“Are you serious? Let’s go check it out.”

Now when he told me that my car had been broken into, I really didn’t believe it. I just assumed there was a car in the parking lot that looked just like mine and this was all a misunderstanding.

But sure enough, as soon as I got to my car, there were two thugs hanging around it. I walked up to my car, and to my surprise, the doors were unlocked and the seats had been moved!

angry face
No one moves my driver’s seat!

I got in my car and saw that my Ipod had been stolen. Wait, let me clarify. In hindsight, I was actually robbed by two nice criminals because they had the decency to steal my Ipod and leave the case. Wasn’t that sweet of them?

I got out and called the police, and my friend went to confront the two guys. He told them they could give back the Ipod or we would call the cops. So the two guys walked off.

I called the cops and told them what had happened. Here’s how the conversation went.

“Yeah someone broke into my car and I need a cop to come arrest the guys,” I said.

“What’s the physical address of where you’re at?”

“I’m at the movie theatre, it’s the only one in the area.” (I was actually more specific, but for your sake I’ll leave some details out.)

“What’s the address?”

“The guys are getting away! I don’t have time to find out the address. This theatre is a pretty popular place, can’t you find it or look it up yourself?” I asked.

“We need the address…”

So I ran into the theatre, cut through the line and asked for the address. No one working there knew it. They had to find a brochure with the address and handed it to me.

While this was going on, my friend was walking behind the guys to keep up with them so we could tell the police where they were headed.

I ran back outside and the dispatcher asked me if I could give a description of the guys. I told her I was following them, but had to run into the theatre. She asked why I wasn’t following them now. I then told her that I was trying to follow them, but I got distracted trying to find out the physical address.

Finally, I caught up to my friend and we walked at a safe distance behind the two guys. They turned a corner at a Home Depot where there were sheds and buildings. I was afraid that they may be hiding in one of them and decided to wait for the cops, because I didn’t want to get stabbed or shot over an Ipod.

a gun
I don’t care how many acoustic love ballads were on that Ipod, I wasn’t willing to take a bullet for them.

So we waited and waited.

Finally, a cop showed up and got out of the car.

“What are you boys doing out here tonight? Please take your hands out of your pockets so I can see them,” he said sternly.

“I’m the one that called you…” I replied.

So after we cleared up that my friend and I weren’t the criminals, the cop rode around the parking lot to look for the guys. They were long gone by then.

A few minutes later, another cop showed up. He asked us the same questions. He then asked my friend, and this is a direct quote, why “he didn’t just beat the sh*t out of them.” I was confused at that point.

I looked at the officer and said, “What would you have done if you saw a guy beating up two other guys in a parking lot at night? Chances you would have arrested my friend and given my Ipod back to the guys whole stole it.”

(That’s not actually what I said, but it’s what I was thinking.)

Long story short, the only people who ended up in the back of a cop car that night was my friend and I. The cops gave me a ride back to my car and nothing was done about my stolen Ipod.

Three days later, my brother and I went back to the same theatre to see Battle: Los Angeles. By the end of the film, I realized that those criminals did me a favor, and tried to keep me from seeing that crappy movie. So for that, I say “thank you.”

True story, bro!

Have you ever experienced something like this? If so, tell me about it in the comments or on my Facebook page.

3 Hairstyles I’ll Never Like

Let me start off by saying that I have no room to give advice or criticism when it comes to fashion or style. If you tell me to dress up, that usually means I’ll throw on my jeans without holes and perhaps a polo.

Batman shirt
But underneath that polo, you better believe I’m rocking a superhero shirt.

Also, I don’t have a lot of room to poke fun at anyone else’s hair. I go long periods without  cutting mine, and I pretty much just let it do whatever it wants. So I have good days and bad days. Mostly bad days.

So even though I’m completely unqualified when it comes to these things, I must say that there are 3 hairstyles that I’ll never like.

3. Mohawks– I’m not saying that I hate all mohawks, just the ones that are ridiculously long and the ones that are brightly colored.

a purple mohawk
Thanks for the great example. I’m sure his parents are so proud.

Mohawks are commonly associated with the punk rock culture. Here’s a little fact for you; mohawks are actually pretty high maintenance. Who would have thunk it?

Maintenance includes shaving and trimming the sides of the head. Also, in order to get your hair to stand at attention, like in the picture, it requires blow drying, brushing and tons of product to make it stay in place.

I don’t have a problem with short mohawks or fauxhawks, but the really eye-catching, brightly colored spikes just bother me. I don’t care if you’re guy or a girl, no one looks cool with a mohawk.

Mr. T

Mr. T wears shiny jewelry in order to distract you from his ridiculous haircut.

2. Short Bangs– This hairstyle applies more to the ladies than it does to men. Personally, I think girls look good with long hair or short hair, but not something that is in-between.

Katy Perry
This haircut might be Katy Perry’s second biggest mistake. The first, of course, is Russell Brand.

I guess I understand the burden that women face. They want long hair, but don’t want their hair in their eyes. And…okay, honestly I can’t really think of an excuse for something like this.

I don’t have a problem with bangs, it’s that I just don’t like them short when a girl’s hair is long. It just looks kind of goofy to me.

I guess what I’m trying to say it that women should choose one or the other. Go short or leave it all long. But that’s just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, if Katy Perry cut her hair differently, I’d most likely still go after her even after she had her hands all over that English moron.

Russell Brand
At least Russell doesn’t go for the short bang look. He just looks for things to bang. Zing!

1. Mullets– I think it’s safe to say that mullets are universally frowned upon. No one, and I mean no one can pull off a mullet. It’s just impossible.

Billy Ray Cyrus
It must be weird to be more famous for your mullet than for your music.

This hairstyle began appearing in the 60s and 70s and grew in popularity until the mid 90s. Some really famous people even sported this disaster. Stars such as David Bowie, Paul McCartney and David Cassidy all had mullets at one point in their careers. And every now and then, when you least expect it, you’ll find someone who sports a mullet. It’s like finding a four-leaf clover or catching a leprechaun. Or maybe it’s more like catching an STD? I’m not sure.

One of the famous phrases that explains this hairstyle is “business in the front and party in the back.”  I’ve come up with a few phrases of my own that might work too:

“Bad idea in the front, it get worse in the back.”

“I love my cousin in the front, inbreeding in the back.”

“Nascar in the front, spousal abuse in the back.”

Those are fun. If you come up with a fun mullet expression like these, share them in the comments.

Honestly, what it really boils down to, is that I’m jealous because I can’t pull off a glorious hairstyle like the mullet. One of these days, maybe I can pull it off, but for now I can only look at it in envy.

What haircuts do you not like? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Man Blames Ghost for Marital Problems

What comes to mind when you think of ghosts? Well, they are scary, they haunt people, and they roam around and say “boo!” A lesser known fact about ghosts, that you may not know, is that they occasionally enjoy punching women.

A man in Wisconsin named Michael West was arrested after allegedly punching his wife in the face, which is horrible. When the police arrived at the scene, Michael’s wife accused him of trying to strangle her twice. He then punched her in the face when she called the cops. Like any guilty man, Michael said that his wife “fell several times” and that’s how she got injured. And then, Michael had the balls to say a statement so bold and so stupid, that I was dumbfounded and also impressed at the creativity. He told authorities that, “a ghost did it.”

This is an amateur sketch of the ghost.

Now I know most of you are thinking, “there’s no way that guy is telling the truth. He’s just trying to get out of going to prison.” But the Huffington Post seemed to think it’d be a good idea to get a paranormal researcher’s opinion to see if Michael’s claims could be legit. I wish I was making this up.

I’m about to show you a quote that I can’t believe was even needed in this case. But here it goes:

“Reports of ghosts attacking people or making them do things are extremely rare and there is no solid evidence to support them,” Ron James told HuffPost Weird News. “You won’t find anyone who will vouch for them.”

First off, Ron James is a “filmmaker who specializes in the paranormal” or as normal people call it, “unemployed.” Second, how are you going to find solid or tangible evidence if it’s a ghost? Aren’t they notorious for being, you know, invisible? On the other hand, there is a great detective duo that has never come across a case they couldn’t solve…

Blues Clues
“Invisible clues? Our specialty. Give us 24 hours.”

Then Ron James delivers yet another quote.

James says the only way West’s claim might be legit is if the house has had documented paranormal activity.

Wait a minute, so if Michael West can come up with some evidence or documented paranormal activity, he could possibly get away with beating his wife? Sure all the tangible evidence points to this guy beating his wife, but maybe, just maybe, a ghost really did do it. It’s not like the guy has a history of spousal abuse or anything. Oh wait…

West’s wife says his violent behavior has increased and there had been a previous no-contact order filed against him.

The article then talks about his “shady, checkered spousal abusive past.” Now I’m not a betting man, but I’d probably bet that this guy got upset and beat his wife. However, I do think it would be hilarious if the police in Wisconsin believed him, and started a man hunt for a ghost.

Pictured: A ghost in handcuffs. Wait. We lost him again.

Do you know of any other crazy news stories or do you have an opinion about this one? If so, share your thoughts in the comments section.

You can read the full article here.

4 Types of Movies That Keep Getting Recycled

I thoroughly enjoy watching movies, but lately, I’ve noticed that a lot of movies look very similar. I watch the trailers, and I swear I have deja vu. It’s like when I watch the trailers, I swear I have deja vu.

So I started investigating to see which movies were extremely similar in style, theme and plot. And during my search, I found that there are 4 types of movies that keep getting recycled.

4. Movies about women getting revenge– If these movies have taught me anything, it’s that you should never piss off women, especially if they are undercover agents, spies or armed with any type of weapon.

an angry woman
I can’t see her hands, so I’ll just assume she has a switch blade or a rocket launcher.

I’m not picking on women here, but I have noticed that this plot gets used over and over and over. A woman gets betrayed, she gets pissed, she kills a bunch of people who wronged her and….roll the credits. I just gave away the ending to most of those movies. My apologies.

Examples: Columbiana, Salt, Haywire, Kill Bill, The Brave One, and I’m sure there are more I’m leaving out.

Even though this does get used a lot, I do find some of these films enjoyable. For instance, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was really good. But maybe Hollywood should step away from this plot for a while and see if they can come up with something else. Make some movies about angry men getting revenge…oh wait that’s been done to death too!

Death Sentence
Once you use Kevin Bacon in a movie about revenge, you’ve pretty much milked it for all it’s worth.

3. Horror films made like documentaries or with “found” footage– If I ever find a video camera in the woods or in a house and it’s got a tape in it, you better believe that I’m not going to touch it. Not because I’m afraid of what’s on the tape, I’m just afraid to have my name associated with a movie that gets less than 5% on Rotten Tomatoes.

This type of movie was innovative when the Blair Witch Project came out, but you can’t expect me to believe that there is that much “found” footage just floating around the world, just laying somewhere, perfectly edited.

I would also like to point out that every time a movie comes out in this genre, the reviews get worse and worse. Don’t believe me? Just look at these reviews from Rotten Tomatoes.

Blair Witch Project…85%

Paranormal Activity…83%

The Last Exorcism…73%

Apollo 18…25%

The Devil Inside…6%

Check and mate!

So Hollywood, the next time you find footage, just leave it alone. The only people who will see it are gullible morons who think that eventually one of these movies will be really good. And yes, I am one of those gullible morons. So save me a seat.

2.  Movies about dancing- Every time I see a trailer for a movie about dancing, I really just can’t understand it. How many movies can you make about dancing? To me, it just gets tiring after a while.

The ones that really get me are the Step Up movies. Basically, it’s about gangs dancing against one another to prove how cool they are.

dance crew from Step Up
“Keep talking about my mama and I’ll kill you with these sweet dance moves!”

Whatever happened to gangs fighting and beating each other up? Instead they are dancing to show who is the biggest and baddest. I’ve never seen that happen in real life. But just imagine what that would be like.

Gang member 1: “Yo man, you better shut your mouth about my girl!”

Gang member 2: “Oh yeah, well what are you gonna do about it?”

Gang member 1: “Let me slip on my ballet slippers and I’ll show you, fool.”

Side not: If gangs danced, I’d probably stand a better chance of being cool enough to join one.

a nerd dancing
Watch out gentlemen, I’m about to do the Twist.

I guess it just bothers me to see such talent wasted. You see all these big guys who look like they are going to murder each other in an amazing action scene and then they break out and start dancing with each other. Ridiculous! And also well choreographed. There’s no way all those dance sequences are spontaneous!

Examples: Step Up 1-3, Stomp the Yard, How She Move, Footloose, and I’m embarrassed that I can name that many off the top of my head.

1. Movies about aliens– In 2011, Hollywood thought that aliens would become the new vampires. A ton of movies came out using aliens. Aliens were in comedies (Paul), action movies (Cowboys and Aliens), horror films (Apollo 18) kid’s animated movies (Mars Needs Moms), superhero movies (The Green Lantern), blockbusters (Super 8) and really sucky movies (I Am Number 4 and Battle Los Angeles). Hopefully in 2012, they will back off.

a guy bathing in money
“But aliens make me so much money! Screw quality! Money money money!”

At this point, if aliens ever invaded the Earth, I probably wouldn’t be afraid. I’m pretty sure Hollywood has covered every possible scenario and has shown us numerous ways we can survive. And if all else fails, we’ll just call Will Smith and he will save the day. After all, he has been in Independence Day and Men In Black 1-3. So at this point he is an alien expert.

What types of movies do you see getting recycled a lot? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comment section.

4 Disgusting Things People Actually Eat

It’s a new year and many people have made resolutions to eat better. Some people give up carbs, some people give up meat, some people give up sugar, and some people give up sodas.

Dane Cook
Dane Cook tried to give up being a tool, but had no success.

The point I’m making is that a lot of people are trying to alter their diet and become healthier. This got me thinking about what people in other countries might give up when they go on a diet. While I was doing some research, I found some pretty horrifying and disgusting foods that I can’t believe people eat. Sure, your new diet may suck, but at least you don’t have to eat like this. Here are 5 disgusting foods that people actually eat.

5. Spiders– I think everyone is afraid of spiders. It’s got to be embedded in our genes or something. Even if you’re a guy, you can’t help but be afraid of these things. Spiders have the ability to build webs, climb walls, and turn the manliest of men into 3 year old girls.

girl screaming
Holy crap! This girl must have just seen a huge spider or…
Gary Busey
…she just met Gary Busey.

But no, people actually deep fry spiders and eat them. The taste is described as “tasty and chewy.” I’ll just take their word for it.

4. Casu Marzu– The name sounds almost appealing. It makes me think of an exotic dish that might have some pretty interesting flavors. However, this dish is also referred to as…wait for it…”maggot cheese.” Go throw up and come back.

Basically it’s goat’s milk with the larvae of cheese flies. What’s really gross it that when humans go to consume this succulent dish, the sane people remove the maggots. The people who are out of their mind leave them in because they “add flavor.” Nom Nom Nom.

3. Fermented Salmon Heads– Now when I first read about this one, I expected this to be eaten in a really foreign country. But no. You know where this is really popular? Alaska.

I’m just glad they aren’t attached to the rest of America. Sickos.

Let me explain how this delicacy comes to be. First, they cut off the heads of the salmon. So far so good. Then the heads are buried in the ground for a few weeks. You know, so they can marinate in that dead flavor. Then right before the heads rot, they are dug up, because that’s just the logical thing to do. The heads are then mashed up into a pudding and served in a cold bowl.

So if you ever find yourself in Alaska, don’t eat pudding under any circumstances.

1. Pacha– I love how these dishes are given different names to keep their ingredients a secret.

a chef winking
“Mamma Mia! If you tell anyone the secret, I’ll kill you!”

Pacha is code word for “boiled sheep head.” Basically, you’re eating a face. And this face stares at you…the whole time you’re eating it. Creepy. I wonder if this entree shows up on the kid’s menu?

So when you start hating your new diet that you started, just be thankful that you don’t have to eat any of these things. That salad or piece of fruit looks a lot more appetizing if you are given these options instead. Let that motivate you to stay on your diet and good luck!

I came across a ton of horrifying and disgusting foods while doing the research for this. Do you know of any other dishes that are just really out there and disgusting? If so, tell me about them in the comments section.

Also, notice that I didn’t post any pictures of these wonderful dishes. You’re welcome! I had to look at the pictures and it wasn’t too pretty. Feel free to Google them if you want.

3 Reasons To Fear Santa

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Scrooge and I’m not against Christmas in anyway. In fact, I really enjoy the Christmas activities, such as putting up trees, eating tons of food, and knocking on stranger’s doors and singing them Christmas carols!

Christmas carolers

I'm the one on the right.

However, if you sit and actually think about the things that Santa Claus does, you’ll soon realize that the guy is crazy. I mean, he does things that would land any normal man in prison. In fact, there are 3 reasons why we should fear Santa and do our best to end his reign of terror!

Santa holding kids

"Oh Lord! Not the children!"

1. He’s a trespasser- Every year, this jolly, old man sneaks into my house without me ever knowing it. What is he trying to hide? I sit by my chimney with a loaded weapon and the burglar alarm on, and I’ve never once caught this deviant. How is he doing this? Did he go through some sort of military training?

Just think, if he can sneak into our houses undetected, what keeps him from coming back during his off season? This guy could be watching me in my sleep. Maybe that’s what the song, “Santa Claus is Coming To Town” has been trying to warn us about.

He sees you when you’re sleeping… What a creep!

creepy santa

Good luck trying to sleep on Christmas Eve.

So since good ole Saint Nick can sneak into your home whenever he wants, there’s another problem you have to worry about.

2. He steals– Every year when I was a kid, I would lay out cookies and milk for Santa. I was cool with him eating those cookies because I was giving them to him as a peace offering, so he would give me presents and not murder me in my sleep. (See picture above.)

When I got older, I stopped putting out food for Santa Claus because I wanted the cookies for breakfast. I would wake up looking forward to opening presents and filling my blood stream with pure sugar. However, when I awoke, the cookies were gone. The next year, I left out a note that said, “Steal from me again, old man, and I’ll put an end to you.” This didn’t stop him. Now, every year, Santa keeps stealing from me.

empty wallet

He even took the cookies I hid in my wallet.

1. He abuses his elves– When do the poor elves get a break from working? Never! As soon as Santa returns, reaping the praise from their labor, he cracks the whip and makes them get right back to it. They only have 365 days to make a trillion toys for all the boys and girls, and that means no breaks and no days off!

baby elf

"Get back to work you lazy bum!"

When was the last time you ever wrote a letter to the elves and said, “thank you for all your hard work?” The poor elves get no credit for all their labor. Santa gets to do the fun part and deliver the presents and then hogs the spotlight. During the year, while the elves work non-stop, Santa gets fat on milk and stolen cookies. Where’s the justice?

So the next time you see Santa at a mall, in a parade, or on Christmas Eve, go up to him and let him know that you will no longer keep silent and let him get away with his illegal activities!

Just kidding! Santa’s not real!

James Van Der Beek

Merry Christmas!!!

Dogs are Trying to Kill Us

It was reported in Florida, that a man was shot by his dog. The man was shot while on a hunting expedition that he took with his dog and his friend. What’s even crazier is that this is the second hunter in two weeks to be shot by his dog. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that dogs are trying to kill us.

dog sniper

My God, we're surrounded.

The hunter, who is 78, was shot in the thigh. According to the official reports, the trio was traveling down a rough road, the dog got rowdy, knocked against the rifle and it went off. I on the order hand, believe there is a conspiracy going on.

Yes, the canines have turned against us. They are sick and tired of us dragging them around on leashes, making them fetch our papers, and they are tired of being locked up in kennels.

dog in kennel

Oh! What's that puppy? You don't like kennels? Well now you're going to prison for attempted murder.

The hunter who got shot in the thigh was actually pretty lucky compared to the other guy. A bullet jumped up during a duck hunt and got him directly in the buttocks. I think I’ve heard that story somewhere before.

forrest gump

You can read the full story here. Do you know of any other crazy stories involving dogs or pets? If so, tell me about them in comments section!

4 Human Interactions that Always Seem Awkward

When it comes to social interactions, you will usually feel awkward at some point or another. That’s part of growing up, I suppose. But eventually, after practice and being around people long enough, you will find that social interactions will become less and less awkward.

However, even though I enjoy meeting people and getting to know them, I’ve found that there are still parts of interacting that I find odd at times. Here are 4 human interactions that always seem awkward.

awkward turtle
Awkward turtle!

1. Starting a conversation– I have struggled with this for a long time. It’s hard to come up with something on the spot that’s both clever and will get the other person in a talkative mood. Sure you can always just go up to someone, extend your hand and introduce yourself, but that’s not unique. It’s not memorable. But hey, go for it, I’m sure you’ll do fine.

After you do successfully start a conversation, there’s one aspect that everyone is afraid of….the awkward silence…

Chuck Norris

Side Note: Everyone is also afraid of Chuck Norris. Apparently sleeves and shirts are afraid of him too.

Awkward silence is the worst. It’s that moment where your brain freezes, your mouth forgets how to work, and you have no clue what to say next. You usually know when it’s about to occur when the conversation goes something like this:

Person A: “What’s up?”

Person B: “Not much.”

Person A: “So….uh….”

And that’s when it occurs. That was painful to type, because it brings back so many memories of the awkward pause that inevitably leads to the silence.

2. Winking– I have personally never understood winking at someone. It just seems creepy and off-putting whenever I try to pull it off. It’s like I get confused and forget which eye to wink with and I just end up blinking at someone. That’s not a great way to let someone know they are attractive. It just makes me look like there’s something wrong with me.

However, I’ve never really found anyone who can pull off a good wink. It’s a hard thing to accomplish. Even good looking celebrities struggle with it.

Robert Downey Jr. winking

He's either winking or he's at the beginning stages of pink eye. There's no way to tell.

So it baffles me whenever someone winks at me, or does it to someone else. Maybe it’s a confidence thing, but I just can’t see myself winking on a regular basis.

3. Hugging– I have no problem with hugging people that I know and that I’ve built a relationship with. And I think it’s totally acceptable for guys to hug other guys. No shame there. And it’s definitely okay to hug girls. Ladies?

But what I find to be really awkward is hugging people that you’ve just met or people who  love hugs way too much. If I’m with a close friend and we part ways, I’m fine with giving out a hug. But if you’re a guy and we just said “hey” in a coffee shop, the next time we run into each other, don’t go for a hug. If I’m uncomfortable with hugging you, I literally turn into a statue because I don’t know how to react.

guys hugging
“Oh…okay….thanks for that… who are you again? Stop, that tickles!”

Hugs are like handshakes but with more commitment. You have to know going into it that the other person will return the hug. If they don’t, well then that’s just really awkward for everyone involved and everyone who witnesses it.

4. Ending Conversations– It’s really weird for me when I’m talking to someone, but I have somewhere to be. I never know how to politely tell the person that I need to leave. Usually, I just end up sticking around until they decide they need to be somewhere.

Ending a conversation also goes back to the hugging thing. In your head you’re thinking, “Okay, so do I shake their hand, go for a hug, or just walk away without any physical contact?” It’s the second hardest puzzle I’ve had to figure out.

rubik's cube
The hardest puzzle I’ve had to figure out.

What are some  awkward interactions that you struggle with? Tell me about them in the comments section.

The Two Best Anti-Drug PSAs of All Time

It’s astonishing how many young people are hooked on drugs these days. We can blame society, environment or entertainment for the rising use of illegal substances. I, on the other, believe the drug problem has grown out of control for one reason: Kids today don’t have great public service announcements or cool celebrities who tell them that “crack is wack.”

Lindsey Lohan

Exception: This picture actually keeps me from doing drugs and watching Lindsey Lohan movies.

The PSAs that are on today are pretty lame. They just aren’t as good as the ones I grew up with. What’s lacking is the presence of a great role model.

I was doing some digging on Youtube and found the two best anti-drug PSAs of all time. Let me say that they were made in the 80s so they are sort of corny. However, they are my favorite and I hope you will enjoy them too.

1. Pee Wee Herman’s Anti-Crack PSA– Now I know what you are thinking. “Pee Wee Herman is not a good role model. He got arrested for doing naughty things in an adult theater.” And to that I say, valid point.

However, Pee Wee was a character who inspired children and had an amazing show that I loved. So when he talked about crack cocaine and the danger of using it, you better believe I listened. Check it out.

Now how can you not take this man in a child-sized suit with a red bow tie seriously? He was deeply concerned about our well-being and wanted to make sure we never did drugs. And he never sent us mixed messages about cocaine.

Paul Reubens

Wait...Pee Wee went on to play a successful and rich cocaine dealer in the movie, Blow?

2. Clint Eastwood’s Anti-Crack PSA– I’m guessing that a lot of people didn’t take Pee Wee Herman seriously. So the PSA people sat down and discussed who they could get to keep kids from doing drugs and scare the crap out of them in the process. Enter Clint Eastwood.

clint eastwood

"Look and see if there is any crack cocaine in the barrel of this gun, dirtbag."

Who is manlier and a better role model than Eastwood? No one! Check out the PSA.

After watching that, I don’t know if I’m more afraid of crack or Clint Eastwood. I have a feeling Clint would kill me way before the drugs would. I may have my statistics wrong, but I think there are more youngsters killed by Clint Eastwood than cocaine each year. He seems like a loose cannon.

angry Clint Eastwood

If the cocaine doesn't kill you, this man will.

Do you know of any other old school PSAs? Send me some links or tell me about them in a comment.

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