Lanny's Blog

3 “Scary” Movies To Avoid On Halloween

It’s Halloween, which means it’s time for candy, girls wearing tight and provocative clothing and of course scary movies. Halloween is the best time to hang out with some friends and watch some frightening films that will leave you sleeping with the lights on. However, there are 3 films I want to share with you that you should probably keep off of your list. Why? Because they suck.

candy corn

Yes, just like candy corn.

3. A Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)- In the year 2010, someone who worked in Hollywood thought it would be a great idea to reboot the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Then, he somehow convinced other people that it would be a good idea. And the saddest part is that someone convinced Jackie Earle Haley to take over the role as Freddy Krueger.

money

“Will you please be in our movie, Mr. Haley?” asked Ben Franklin and his brothers.

Honestly, this movie was so bad that I don’t really even remember the plot. I just remember that Freddy Krueger’s face looked like a badly burnt pizza. I don’t recall even being the least bit scared. The only nightmare I had was the awful truth that no matter what, I would never get that hour and a half of my life back.

Unfortunately though, this is not the worst Freddy Krueger movie I have ever seen. For there is another…

2. Freddy Vs. Jason- When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought it was a joke. Who in their right mind would combine two horror villains together and expect it to be good? Surely no one else in the movie world would even think to create such a craptastic combination of stupidity.

Aliens Versus Predator movie poster

I stand corrected.

So basically the plot of the movie is for Jason and Freddy to face each other while also killing other people. And honestly, that may not be the plot, but I’m not doing a ton of research for this post for fear I’ll lose IQ points from reading all these plot summaries. So let’s just go with it.

I do however, remember how it ends. And it ends just like every bad horror movie sequel. You think the antagonist is dead, and then at the very end, they show you a small glimpse that they aren’t dead. And then everyone puts their face in their palm and is ashamed that they sat through such movie to begin with.

But wait…there is another movie that is worse. Worse? It can’t be.

Oh, but it can. All you have to do is figure out a way to add a new spin to a horrible sequel. What could it be? What it could be? I got it! It should all take place…in outer space!

1. Jason X- In my opinion, this is the worst sequel and worst idea that anyone has ever had. After years and years of Friday the 13th sequels, someone wanted to mix things up. You know, add some new flavor to the series. Well they accomplished the task. They added a new flavor, and that flavor was crap.

I can’t tell you how Jason ends up on a spaceship in the future, but it’s got something to do with him being frozen. Anyway, somehow he thaws out and reeks havoc on the spaceship for about 2 hours. All the while, you’re sitting and wondering why on earth this film was made.

In the end, Jason gets thrown off the space craft and plummets back into the earth’s atmosphere. And out of all the places he can land, he lands right back at Crystal Lake, where undoubtedly, they can continue on this ridiculous path of Jason movies.

Lucky for us, there was never a sequel to Jason X. Instead, we just got a reboot produced by Michael Bay.

Friday the 13th movie poster

Which makes it all better, right?

So there you have it. These are 3 of the worst “scary” movies that I have ever seen. I ask that you do avoid them, unless you just enjoy torturing yourself.

What are some of the worst horror movies you have seen? Tell me about them in the comments section.

Happy Halloween!

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One thought on “3 “Scary” Movies To Avoid On Halloween

  1. Pingback: When Things Go Bump In The Night…. « The Accidental Kansan

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