Lanny's Blog

3 Sports I Want Added to the Olympics

Every four years, when the Olympics comes around, I have to pretend like I care about sports such as diving, gymnastics and field hockey. Let’s face it, not all sports in the Olympic games are created equally. If you think badminton draws a huge crowd like basketball, then you are sorely mistaken.

A shuttlecock

This shuttlecock is laying on the floor because no one plays the awful sport.

I’ve come up with a few sports, that take little to no talent, that I think should be added to the Olympic games. Yes they are ridiculous, but you better believe that I would watch them.

3. Paper Football What’s less exciting than American football, but more exciting that women’s gymnastics? You got it, Paper Football!

I can see it now; America taking on all the other countries in a show down of finger control and luck. Back in high school, we use to play this game a lot. Sure the teachers would get annoyed when our kickoffs and field goal attempts would fly across the room, but we didn’t care. Practice makes perfect.

Plus, this sport would allow regular joes the opportunity to get into the Olympic games and compete for gold. Finally a sport for the people who were told that they weren’t smart enough, strong enough or fast enough to compete. And if you take steroids or other performance enhancing drugs, they won’t be able to help you. Sure you’ll have huge muscles, but they won’t make you flick a folded piece of paper any farther. Finally, a level playing field!

2. Flip cup If you’re an alchoholic or really good at flipping cups over, then congratulations you just made the team. All this sport requires is a high tolerance, a strong liver and team work.

synchronized swimming

Just like synchronized swimming.

I think watching flip cup on live television would be pretty amazing.  Just imagine a bunch of dudes getting really drunk and starting fights with the other teams. Then you get to watch them stumble up to the stage to receive their medal. Most likely one or all of them will fall off and everyone gets a laugh. Congrats, you got the gold medal, but you also got alcohol poisoning. Enjoy rehab.

This is also another sport where performance enhancing drugs won’t help you. If you’re on the juice, chances are you’re going to be slinging cups everywhere. Good job flipping your cup 20 feet in the air, but you just lost the us the game.

1. Sting Pong– If you are unfamiliar with the game of sting pong, please let me explain it to you. You basically play a normal game of ping pong. However, when you lose a point, you have to pull your shirt over your head and let your opponent smack a ping pong ball into your chest.

If you’ve never played, you’re probably thinking that it doesn’t sound too bad, but  you are dead wrong. It stings. It’s unbelievable how a small plastic ball can cause so much pain. What’s even worse is that your body will be covered in welts for at least 2 days. This sport will definitely separate the men from the boys.

old woman playing ping pong

Can you think of any sports you would like to add to the Olympics? If so, tell me about them in the comments section.

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