Lanny's Blog

3 Sports I’ll Never Understand

Sports are awesome, but they are not all created equal. I understand the thrill of sports such as basketball and football and can appreciate the strategy of sports like tennis and bowling. However, there are some sports that I’ll never understand. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t can’t get into them.

3. Golf– Let me just say that golf may be the most frustrating sport on the whole planet to play. It’s the only time I’ve ever tried to bend a metal object out of  pure frustration. What I don’t get is that everyone who plays golf talks about how relaxing and stress relieving it is. Apparently, I’ve been playing wrong, because when I’m done I always feel an aneurysm coming on and for some reason I feel the need to scream at someone or something.

an angry golfer
“You’re the reason I suck, golf club! Not because of my lack of skill!”

What I really don’t get is how there can be a channel on television that shows golf all the time. It’s an entire channel dedicated to this awful, soul-sucking sport. 24 hours a day. Non-stop. All the time. Do you get the picture I’m painting here?

And it looks so easy. It’s like you have a straight shot at the hole, and then you end up hitting a tree that’s an inch thick. How is my accuracy so good and so horrible at the same time?

2. UFC Fights– Here’s a potential conversation that you would have with a UFC fighter.

Me: So what do you do for a living?

Fighter: Well I get into a caged ring with another man. He then does everything in his power to knock me out and make my head bleed. He chases me around and finds pleasure in snapping one of my limbs. It’s a hoot. What do you do?

Me: What the **** is the matter with you?

I understand people getting a kick out of watching this sport, but who in their right mind would want to compete? Have you ever been punched before? It looks like it hurts really bad.

I’ve often wondered what the fighters think about before going to work. Do they make a pot of coffee and read the paper in the mornings? If it were me, all I’d be able to focus on is the fact that I’m about to fight a huge man, and only one of us walks away.

Brock Lesnar
Holy crap! Is that a man, or did you guys shave a bear?

In case you can’t see it, Brock Lesnar has a tattoo of a knife on his chest. Chances are if you tried to stab him, the knife would just bend and then he would beat you until everything was broken.

1. Nascar– I’ll just come out and say that I don’t see the point to this “sport.” It’s car…going in a circle…for 4 hours. Who can sit and watch that? And more importantly, why would you want to?

nascar race
Can’t you just feel the excitement? Yeah, me either.

And what’s really messed up about this “sport” is that people think the crashes are exciting. That has to be a surreal experience for the drivers. Just imagine you’re in a race car, it hits the wall and flips over a dozen times. Then as you are crawling out to safety, you’re greeted by people clapping and giving each other high fives, not because you are safe and unharmed, but because that’s what they came to see.

Nascar fans
“Didchu see that boy? That was a dadgum wreck if I’d ever seen one. Where’s my beer?”

If someone put me behind the wheel of one of those death machines, I’d probably just go about 65 or 70mph. It’s not that I don’t like to drive fast and cheat death, but coming in first after driving for four hours just doesn’t seem that appealing to me.

What sports do you not care for or just don’t understand? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section!


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5 thoughts on “3 Sports I’ll Never Understand

  1. 70 second minute run on said:

    well this just means we have to buy an octogon shaped cage and have it out…o and by the way, in order to make it legit, we must wear skimpy @#$ shorts…just like the pros!

  2. Just a thought, but studying your golf pic, I think you might need to work on your grip. 🙂

  3. When I saw your title I thought of these same three sports! Hilarious!

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